Wife. Mama. Foodie. Book Lover. Truth seeker. Dreaming of being a writer.
My life started in country South Australia, the youngest of four children, third girl in quick succession, within a tight knit family. Mum wanted to call me Rebel, Nanna thought it was ridiculous, Courtney it was.
Childhood was wonderful. Everything you’d expect from growing up in the country. Total independence to explore, to grow, to do and be whatever we wanted. Dancing filled most of my childhood, from ages 6-14, 4-5 nights a week in the end. It taught me discipline. I enjoyed it and was good at it, I just didn’t have the heart for it, my Mum says. I wasn’t interested in the competitiveness of it all. Don’t get me wrong, I like to succeed but I’m not into pushing anyone out of the way to get there.
I was blessed to grow up in the country, something I only truly realised in recent years, and I wouldn’t trade it for the world but as soon as I hit 18, I couldn’t get out fast enough. I never wanted to stay there. I hated small town gossip. Hated people having pre-conceived notions about you because of where you attended school, who your family was, what sport you chose to partake in. I escaped to Melbourne and never looked back. I loved it. The anonymity or freedom as I thought of it. I got drunk on the big bright, city lights. I also met and fell madly in love with my now husband. We met when we were 19. I waited 3 years for him to end his then shitty relationship. Turns out we both felt that intense pull to each other all along. He moved in after 2 weeks and we married nearly 6 years later.
After working jobs to pay the bills, I landed a position at 22 with an iconic Australian women’s retailer in their head office. I still remember my interview. I walked through the hall where runner rails lined the walls with apparel and accessories, my fingers gliding along the fabrics. All I could think to myself was; how the hell did I land this? I spent 7 years working for that brand. I started as an admin assistant. Finished as a junior planner. I fell into something I was naturally good at. I was a planner by nature, now I was one by profession. Those 7 years were mostly life changing. It’s where I found my tribe. The women I could count on in any given situation. The ones who would be there to catch me when I fell. Even though I loved the fashion industry, I always felt like somewhat of a fraud. I like fashion but I was never a slave to it. I couldn’t justify spending crazy amounts of money on clothing or accessories. I didn’t follow all the top designers. I felt like I just didn’t completely fit in. It didn’t fulfill me emotionally.
During the last few years of working there, I started a little newsletter called The Gossip Rag. It was originally shared amongst a few girls for a bit of a laugh. Very tongue-in-cheek. Celebrity gossip, current affairs, you know the stuff. It was fun and I felt at ease doing it. Then the CEO got wind of it and asked me to send it out to our office. I went from 7 readers to 90. I freaked the first time I sent it out. Held my breath. Waited. The response was overwhelming. Mostly people told me I was in the wrong profession. It was the first time I considered fashion not being my career and that thought excited me.
I ended up moving to another company, chasing change. Change didn’t only come in the form of my career though. Shortly after starting I found out I was pregnant, my husband was made redundant a month prior, was then diagnosed with Type 2 diabetes (later to become a misdiagnosis for Type 1) and we sold our home with a 30 day settlement with the buyer from hell. My personal life went from completely stable to not in the space of a few months. The instability continued for the coming few years with the only bright light being when we welcomed our little boy, Baker, into the world.
Since finding out I was pregnant, the quiet voice inside that I heard when I was writing The Gossip Rag got louder. It went from a soft whisper to something I could no longer ignore. The more my life spiraled out of control, the louder it got. And so, a lyrical mind was born. A space for me to explore this internal voice without pressure or constraint. To find the true extent of its purpose in the genuine hope I can live my life doing exactly what makes my soul happy; sharing stories and engage true emotional connection with the world.